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How do INFJ deal with heartbreak?

Author

Emily Ross

Published Jan 16, 2026

INFJs cope by retreating into solitude.

The thing about retreating into solitude for an INFJ who's dealing with heartbreak is that it'll move them past a place of healthy self-love and self-reflection and into a world where loss and emptiness rule, and that's a dark place for the typically idealistic INFJ.

What happens when you hurt an INFJ?

When INFJs are continually hurt or hurt bad enough, they slam the door on that toxic relationship. The well-known INFJ door slam isn't about punishing the other person. It's about protecting ourselves from more hurt. Even though many INFJs can seem to have a cold exterior, our hearts are soft.

How do you cure a heartbreak INFJ?

Looking to whatever it is that gives us hope can be incredibly helpful for INFJs who feel overwhelmed by heartache. Listen to relaxing music, read a good book, meditate on something that gives you a sense of hope.

Do INFJ move on quickly?

Some say INFJs are great at moving on once they know for sure it's over. Others say INFJs are at risk for basking in their misery because they feel so deeply that getting over another person is a long, arduous process.

How do INFJs get over someone?

' My advice to other INFJs: Accept it wholeheartedly, get used to it, and stay focused on moving on. Accept that you still love them, get used not to have them by your side, and don't find (or even think about finding) a way to get back together with them (unless your closest friends say you should.

32 related questions found

How do INFJs heal?

Healing from trauma and dealing with past pain requires the INFJ to open up to true vulnerability. This means acknowledging the past — good and bad moments — and remaining open to healing and growing from these events.

How does an INFJ end a relationship?

THE INFJ DOORSLAM. It's said that INFJs will often leave relationships in an abrupt manner, without much communication. When an INFJ decides that a relationship is over or irritation starts to grow too hard to handle, INFJs may choose the doorslam as an effective strategy of getting out.

Why do INFJs have trust issues?

Sadly, a lot of people are not sincere. INFJs typically have trust issues because at some point, they've placed their trust in someone and have had that trust broken. This doesn't just make them feel vulnerable. It strikes at the very heart of their value system.

Can an INFJ fall out of love?

INFJ. When an INFJ makes a true and deep connection with someone, falling out of love can be a long and painful process. It will take the INFJ a rather long time before they begin to let go of a romance that touched their soul. They might pine and remember that person many years after their separation.

When an INFJ is betrayed?

They take such a long time to trust in someone and open up, and having this betrayed can be rather painful for them. This type of setback can cause the INFJ to feel like they have made a mistake in trusting that person, and can feel like they need to build up those walls once again.

Who loves INFJ?

Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, INFJ's natural partner is the ENTP, or the ENFP. INFJ's dominant function of Introverted Intuition is best matched with a personality type that is dominated by Extraverted Intuition.

How Intj deal with break up?

When they experience a breakup which is truly heartbreaking for them, it is important for the INTJ to take the time to process their inner emotions. They need to really allow themselves to feel every part of it, without trying to find solutions or figure out why they are experiencing these emotions.

How do you comfort INFJ?

The INFJ. When you're feeling especially down, you find comfort in getting some time to yourself in a peaceful, quiet environment. Being able to wrap up in a blanket and listen to a favorite song or read a favorite book can be calming for you. It can also be helpful to take care of yourself physically.

Will INFJ forgive?

INFJs often struggle with forgiveness, especially when someone has hurt them multiple times. They will usually forgive someone over and over again, until they cannot take it any longer. Once an INFJ has reached this point, they have a hard time letting go of their grudge.

What turns off an INFJ?

Arrogance and insensitivity are the biggest turn offs for an INFJ. When someone treats others poorly and acts as though they are better than them, the INFJ will become disinterested and even disgusted by that person.

How do you say sorry to INFJ?

Make it clear to him/her that you are REALLY sorry for what you have done. Never say the word 'Sorry' if you don't really mean it. INFJs value truthfulness and can sense the emptiness of the words if you fake them. It is important to assure him/her that the mistake made by you will not be repeated.

What does an unhealthy INFJ look like?

Unhealthy INFJs are chronic people-pleasers who never want to disappoint. 7. They become so involved with other people's problems that they can't focus on their own. Likewise, they become so bogged down with other people's emotions that their day is often ruined because someone else is having a bad day.

Why are INFJs so closed off?

They become fearful of how the situation will turn out, and so they don't even want to risk the negative emotions. Instead they try to stick with things they know and are used to, instead of venturing out. This can make the INFJ seem very closed off to new people and new experiences.

How do you win an INFJ heart?

23 INFJs Explain Exactly How To Win Their Type Over

  1. “Approach me like a cat would to an unknown object. ...
  2. “I need to be able to trust you. ...
  3. “Actively listen and engage in conversation. ...
  4. “Answer all my questions honestly – and don't make a move too soon. ...
  5. “I usually feel an affinity towards someone right away or not.

Are INFJs submissive?

INFJs are usually capable of remaining in control when it is important to them, and are not afraid of standing their ground. While they can maintain a stubborn side with some things, INFJs can also be submissive towards the right people.

What are INFJs afraid of?

Many INFJs, when speaking of their fears, cited fear of abandonment alongside a fear of opening up to others and allowing themselves to be loved unreservedly.

Do INFJs hold grudges?

Perhaps the most sensitive of all the personality types, INFJs take it hard when someone they trust lets them down. They tend to hold on to anger longer than they should and are capable of holding a grudge even when the other person has apologized, repeatedly, for their wrongdoing.

What should INFJ not do?

7 things you should never say to an INFJ

  1. “Calm down!” As we've just found out, INFJs are highly sensitive. ...
  2. “You're just not trying hard enough.” ...
  3. “I'm fine.” — when you know you aren't. ...
  4. “No one will ever understand you.” ...
  5. “You're doing too much.” ...
  6. “You make it difficult to love you.” ...
  7. “You're so boring.

Are INFJs traumatized?

Since they haven't found a way to process their trauma, they often don't realize what makes them feel uneasy just being with themselves. The INFJ who has experienced trauma can also find themselves in their shadow, which makes them much more reckless.

What are INFJs hobbies?

Popular hobbies for the INFJ include writing, art appreciation, cultural events, reading, socializing in small, intimate settings, and playing or listening to music.