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How do you forgive a toxic ex?

Author

Sarah Smith

Published Jan 19, 2026

  1. First: Embrace the suck, but don't get stuck there. ...
  2. Meditate. ...
  3. Acknowledge that forgiveness is not condoning. ...
  4. Write a letter you never intend to send. ...
  5. Or place a photograph of the person you want to forgive, or move past, somewhere you'll see every day. ...
  6. You can even visualize the person at your dinner table. ...
  7. READ MORE:

How do you get over a toxic ex that you still love?

13 Tips for How to Heal From a Toxic Relationship

  1. Feel Your Emotions. ...
  2. Try Not to Contact Your Old Partner to “Check In” ...
  3. Don't Expect Closure. ...
  4. Maintain a Strong Support System with Positive People. ...
  5. Don't be Afraid to Admit What You've Been Through. ...
  6. Re-Discover Your True Self. ...
  7. Practice Self-Care. ...
  8. Practice Self-Kindness.

Is it possible for a toxic ex to change?

Toxic people can change, but it's highly unlikely. What is certain is that nothing anyone else does can change them. It is likely there will be broken people, broken hearts and broken relationships around them – but the carnage will always be explained away as someone else's fault.

How do I forgive my ex after a break up?

5 Steps to Forgiving Your Ex

  1. Embrace positivity. Negativity makes it difficult to forgive and move on. ...
  2. Take responsibility. There were two people in your relationship, and two people in the breakup. ...
  3. Practice compassion. ...
  4. Fake it till you make it. ...
  5. Take your time to heal.

Can you forgive someone for being toxic?

You may never forget what they've done, but by letting go of your anger around it and forgiving them, you can move past the pain. You can learn to forgive toxic people. You will have to wait until you are no longer angry to start to forgive someone. Feelings of anger are normal in these situations.

36 related questions found

How do you release toxic people?

How to eliminate toxic people from your life.

  1. Let them know how you feel. While you do not owe them an explanation, this is probably more for you. ...
  2. Put some distance between you and them. ...
  3. Set hard boundaries. ...
  4. Don't be pulled into a crisis. ...
  5. Spend more time with positive people. ...
  6. Talk to someone. ...
  7. Forgive but don't forget.

How do you accept toxic people?

Read on for tips on how to respond to this type of behavior.

  1. Avoid playing into their reality. ...
  2. Don't get drawn in. ...
  3. Pay attention to how they make you feel. ...
  4. Talk to them about their behavior. ...
  5. Put yourself first. ...
  6. Offer compassion, but don't try to fix them. ...
  7. Say no (and walk away) ...
  8. Remember, you aren't at fault.

Why am I so angry my ex moved on?

People may continue hating an ex because moving forward feels akin to forgiving the transgressor. Staying angry could be a way of taking revenge against an ex, or in other cases it could be a way to stay connected to the person. Detaching from an ex can be anxiety-provoking and require significant courage.

Why is my ex so bitter?

A bitter ex is often out for revenge. But instead of directly affecting the person, some may want their former beaus to feel guilty instead. Some people do this by deliberately making their own lives difficult. They may end up doing harmful vices, such as alcohol or drugs.

How do I stop being bitter about my ex?

  1. Admit that you feel bitter. You've got to know it's there—and face it—in order to leave it behind.
  2. Acknowledge who hurt you and that you hold on to the hurt. Ask yourself why you won't let it go. ...
  3. Let go. ...
  4. Forgive. ...
  5. Change your expectations. ...
  6. Know that you are bigger than bitterness. ...
  7. Get help if you need it.

Can you come back from a toxic relationship?

Yes, toxic relationships can change. But that comes with a very big if. A toxic relationship can change if and only if both partners are equally committed to overcoming it with lots of open communication, honesty, self-reflection, and possibly professional help, individually and together.

Should I be friends with my toxic ex?

Under no circumstances should a relationship that was abusive, manipulative or toxic transition into a friendship, Sussman says. But even if your relationship was generally healthy and simply didn't work out, you might want to think twice before becoming pals.

Why is leaving a toxic relationship so hard?

But when it comes to leaving an unhealthy relationship, it can feel even more difficult. That's because, apart from the typical sadness associated with breaking up, there tends to be other things going on, including issues with self-esteem, baggage from the past, and so on.

How long does it take to heal from a toxic relationship?

The results of the poll suggest it takes an average of about 3.5 months to heal, while recovering after divorce might take closer to 1.5 years, if not longer.

How do you handle a healthy relationship after a toxic one?

Finding and being in a healthy relationship after a toxic one can be hard. Give yourself grace as you navigate the process; be gentle with yourself and try to stay patient and self-compassionate. Lean into people who love you well and can encourage you in hard times.

How do I know if my ex is suffering?

19 signs your ex is miserable (and still cares for you)

  1. 1) He says he's miserable. ...
  2. 2) He contacts you when he's drunk. ...
  3. 3) He's jealous when you're with other guys. ...
  4. 4) He's gained or lost weight. ...
  5. 5) He's always getting into fights. ...
  6. 6) He's usually drunk or high. ...
  7. 7) Want advice specific to your situation?

Why does my ex want a reaction out of me?

This is one of the most common reasons why your ex might try to get a reaction out of you. Your ex will want to see if they can still have an emotional impact on you. They want to manipulate your emotions to make you say or do something without thinking about what you're doing.

How do you know if a guy is hurt after a breakup?

1) He Can't Stop Speaking To You

First up, one of the most obvious signs he's hurting after the breakup, is if he can't stop talking to you. He's texting, he's calling, he's trying to find reasons to meet up. Perhaps he's even said about missing you or wanting to get back with you.

How do I accept my ex to move on?

13 Helpful Women Explain How They Coped With Their Ex Moving On First

  1. It can be even more hurtful when they cheated. ...
  2. Focus on finding someone you deserve. ...
  3. Taking them off social media can be really helpful. ...
  4. Accept that this may impede on your friendship with your ex. ...
  5. Remind yourself their life is none of your business.

How do I stop hurting my ex?

5 Ways to Move on From an Ex You Still Love

  1. Cut off all communication (Both direct and indirect) For the sake of your physical and mental health, this is the first thing you've got to do. ...
  2. Forgive the past. ...
  3. Let's get real. ...
  4. Understand that it's natural to still love your ex. ...
  5. Don't forget to love you. ...
  6. In short.

What to do when you hate your ex?

So, here's what you should do instead of hating your ex.

  1. Focus on you. There's no better time to be selfish than after the end of a relationship. Relationships take a lot of giving. ...
  2. When you find yourself complaining about your ex, change the conversation. It's normal to want to vent about your ex right after a breakup.

Why do people become toxic?

People are often toxic because they're not interested in being stable and healthy in relationships. Another sign of a toxic person is no boundaries. If you've been clear with someone time and again about your needs, and they just can't help themselves but to disrespect you, they are toxic.

What are toxic traits in a person?

As part of its Mental Health Month #Tools2Thrive initiative, Mental Health America outlines these eight traits of toxic people:

  • Manipulative. ...
  • They make you feel bad about yourself. ...
  • Being judgmental. ...
  • Negativity. ...
  • Self-centered. ...
  • Difficulty managing their anger. ...
  • Controlling.

What is a toxic personality disorder?

The toxic traits of a toxic person include unsupportive and unpleasant behavior, being manipulative, judgmental, controlling, and self-centered. Such people can be the cause of various negative feelings and emotions that you may be experiencing like depression, anxiousness, worthlessness, and unhappiness.

Why do I feel guilty for leaving a toxic relationship?

Another reason we stay in an unhealthy relationship is our own guilt. We believe we have played a big part in how things have turned out, we therefore feel responsible and remain in the relationship in order to fix our wrong-doing or our not-knowing.