Why can't My 13 year old sleep alone?
Rachel Ellis
Published Jan 19, 2026
Older children and teenagers do want to sleep on their own and recognise it can be a problem for their parents if they feel unable to, but for many the reason they can't is because they are suffering from severe nighttime anxiety and can't sleep on their own. For some teenagers, it might indicate a sign of unhappiness.
Is it normal to sleep with your parents at 13?
DEAR CONCERNED: It is not appropriate for parents to co-sleep with adolescent children, partly because adolescents need and deserve some privacy, as they engage in the developmentally important process of figuring out who they are and what they're about.
How do I get my teenager to sleep alone?
The solution: To encourage your child to fall asleep alone, help him or her feel secure. Start with a calming bedtime routine. Then offer a comfort object, such as a favorite stuffed animal or blanket. Turn on a night light or leave the bedroom door open if it will help your child feel better.
How can I help my 13 year old daughter sleep?
Consider turning off cellphones or charging them outside the room. Encourage your teen to do something relaxing, like taking a warm bath or reading before going to sleep. Help your teen limit caffeine (found in coffee, tea, soda, energy drinks, and chocolate), especially in the late afternoon and evening.
What age should a 13 year old go to bed?
For teenagers, Kelley says that, generally speaking, 13- to 16-year-olds should be in bed by 11.30pm. However, our school system needs a radical overhaul to work with teenagers' biological clocks. “If you're 13 to 15 you should be in school at 10am, so that means you're waking up at 8am.
23 related questions foundCan puberty cause sleep problems?
When puberty begins, this rhythm shifts a couple hours later. Now, your body tells you to go to sleep around 10:00 or 11:00 pm. The natural shift in a teen's circadian rhythms is called "sleep phase delay." The need to sleep is delayed for about two hours. At first, teens may appear to be suffering from insomnia.
Why do teenagers stay up late?
It's kind of cool when you think about it—that around the time of puberty, adolescents show a hormonally driven shift in their circadian rhythms that allows them to stay awake later and sleep in later.
What causes sleep disorders?
Factors that can cause sleep problems include: Physical disturbances (for example, chronic pain from arthritis, headaches, fibromyalgia) Medical issues (for example, sleep apnea) Psychiatric disorders (for example, depression and anxiety disorders)
Why is my child afraid to sleep alone?
Consider sources of daily stress. Kids who suffer from daytime anxieties—about school, separation from parents, or other concerns—are more likely to fear the dark and fear sleeping alone (Gregory and Eley 2005). You may be able to reduce your child's nighttime fears by helping him cope with daytime stress.
How do I get used to sleeping alone?
Try the following tips to become more comfortable sleeping alone.
- Resolve the deeper issue through therapy. ...
- Sleep with your pet. ...
- Watch what you watch. ...
- Make your home feel more secure. ...
- Put yourself in a calm state of mind. ...
- Think positive. ...
- Make sleeping alone irresistible.
What are the signs of anxiety in a child?
Symptoms of anxiety in children
- finding it hard to concentrate.
- not sleeping, or waking in the night with bad dreams.
- not eating properly.
- quickly getting angry or irritable, and being out of control during outbursts.
- constantly worrying or having negative thoughts.
- feeling tense and fidgety, or using the toilet often.
At what age should you stop letting your child sleep with you?
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) takes a strong stance against co-sleeping with children under age 1. The AAP does recommend room sharing for the first 6 months of a child's life, though, as this safe practice can greatly reduce the risk of SIDS.
When do kids stop co-sleeping?
According to Dr. Brazelton, author of Touchpoints, most kids stop cosleeping on their own by thirteen years of age.
What age should your child stop sleeping in your bed?
Some kids are ready at 18 months, others not until 7 or 8 years old. There is not a definitive right or wrong when it comes to the correct age. The concept of co-sleeping, bed sharing, or a family bed is very common in many parts of the world and has existed for a long time.
Why can I not sleep alone?
Sleep anxiety, also known as somniphobia is a sleep disorder that describes discomfort sleeping alone or a general fear of falling asleep. Those who experience somniphobia explain it as extreme anxiety that makes it difficult to get to sleep even when they are tired.
How can I help my child overcome fear of sleeping alone?
If your child is anxious about being left alone, let them know you will check on them periodically. Begin by briefly checking and reassuring in 5 minutes, then 10 minutes, then 15 minutes, then 20 minutes until your child is asleep. Be careful not to spend much time during the period of reassurance.
How do I get my 12 year old to sleep in his own bed?
Stick to them and your child will see that she can rely partly on you and partly on herself for reassurance and comfort. The key is that she makes the transition into sleep without you present, which will then become the new habit. Stay put. After bedtime, your child must stay in her own bed the whole night.
What is affecting my sleep?
Other factors that affect sleep include stress and many medical conditions, especially those that cause chronic pain or other discomfort. External factors, such as what we eat and drink, the medications we take, and the environment in which we sleep can also greatly affect the quantity and quality of our sleep.
Which vitamin is good for sleep?
Research has shown that maintaining sufficient levels of Vitamins B3, B5, B6, B9 and B12 may help achieve good sleep. Best food sources of vitamin B includes whole grains, meat, eggs, seeds and nuts as well as dark leafy vegetables.
What is the recommended amount of sleep for a 14 year old?
The American Academy of Sleep Medicine has recommended that children aged 6–12 years should regularly sleep 9–12 hours per 24 hours and teenagers aged 13–18 years should sleep 8–10 hours per 24 hours.
Should I let my teenager sleep all day?
So while teens should not be sleeping all day, a later bed time and later wake time are fine, as long as they sleep between 8.5 to 9.5 hours a day.
What is the average amount of sleep a teenager gets?
Sleep research suggests that a teenager needs between eight and 10 hours of sleep every night. Most teenagers only get about 6.5-7.5 hours sleep per night. Teen's body clocks naturally shift to make them feel tired later in the evening, but early school starts do not enable them to sleep in the mornings.
What is the best sleep schedule for a teenager?
According to Johns Hopkins pediatrician Michael Crocetti, M.D., M.P.H. , teens need 9 to 9½ hours of sleep per night—that's an hour or so more than they needed at age 10. Why? “Teenagers are going through a second developmental stage of cognitive maturation,” explains Crocetti.
What time should a teenager go to bed?
After puberty, there is a biological shift in an adolescent's internal clock of about 2 hours, meaning that a teenager who used to fall asleep at 9:00 PM will now not be able to fall asleep until 11:00PM. It also means waking 2 hours later in the morning. Early high school start times.
How do I break co-sleeping habit?
How to wean a toddler off co-sleeping
- Set the stage for your sweetie. ...
- Find the right time. ...
- Pick a plan — and be consistent. ...
- Check your bedtime routine. ...
- Make your child feel involved — and give her some control. ...
- Make sure your tot is tired — but not overtired. ...
- Find other ways to keep close.