Why do I feel like I don't love my newborn?
Daniel Moore
Published Jan 24, 2026
Not bonding or “falling in love at first sight” with your newborn is a common experience for many moms. Try not to judge yourself; instead, know that it's perfectly natural to need time to adjust to the many changes happening in your life.
Is it normal to not enjoy your newborn?
There's nothing wrong with not enjoying being the mother of a newborn, especially your first. It's so so hard. Hope you find more pleasure as the months go on but please don't blame yourself for not loving every minute!
Is it normal to not feel attached to your baby?
Studies have found that about 20% of new moms and dads feel no real emotional attachment to their newborn in the hours after delivery. Sometimes, it takes weeks or even months to feel that attachment. If you haven't begun bonding with your baby, don't feel anxious or guilty -- it should come with time.
What is it called when you don't like your baby after birth?
Baby blues are feelings of worry, anger, or fear that up to 80% of birthing people experience, often 2 to 3 days after childbirth. These feelings usually go away on their own without treatment after a few days to 1 to 2 weeks, according to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists.
Why do I feel like Im not bonding with my baby?
Struggling to bond with your new baby can trigger tremendous guilt in parents, but it's actually quite common. 'The birth may have been long and traumatic. Also the mother may be suffering from depression or anxiety, which can affect her ability to bond. '
17 related questions foundHow do you show your newborn you love them?
Here are some ideas:
- Regularly touch and cuddle your newborn. ...
- Respond to crying. ...
- Hold your baby. ...
- Make your newborn feel physically safe. ...
- Talk to your newborn as often as you can in soothing, reassuring tones. ...
- Sing songs. ...
- Look into your newborn's eyes while you talk, sing and make facial expressions.
How can I bond with my newborn?
Tips for Bonding with your Baby
- Breastfeed. ...
- Bottle-feed. ...
- Hold your baby, especially skin to skin when you can.
- Make eye contact with your baby.
- Respond to your baby when he cries. ...
- Play with your baby.
- Talk, read, and sing to your baby.
Why do I feel a disconnect with my newborn?
If you feel very low and disconnected from your baby for a long period of time, you may be suffering from postnatal depression. If this is the case, it's important to speak to your health visitor or GP. They will be able to give you advice and support. Try not to worry about health professionals judging your feelings.
How long does it take for a woman's body to go back to normal after pregnancy?
Your postpartum recovery won't be just a few days. Fully recovering from pregnancy and childbirth can take months. While many women feel mostly recovered by 6-8 weeks, it may take longer than this to feel like yourself again. During this time, you may feel as though your body has turned against you.
When does postpartum fatigue go away?
Results. In the 6-month postpartum period, the level of fatigue was highest at 1 month and significantly decreased from 1–4 months postpartum. Primiparas showed a significantly higher level of fatigue than multiparas during hospital stay and their levels of fatigue more closely approximated the 1-month peak.
How do you know if your baby has bonded with you?
You'll intuitively understand how to handle her (even if it's not the way you thought you would). You'll know what frightens her (even if it's almost everything). You'll have a pretty good idea of what to expect from her (even if it's the worst). And you'll have no trouble guessing what she likes best of all: you.
How do I know if Im bonding with my baby?
The Ways Babies Bond
- Touch becomes an early language as babies respond to skin-to-skin contact. ...
- Eye-to-eye contact provides meaningful communication at close range.
- Babies can follow moving objects with their eyes.
- Your baby tries — early on — to imitate your facial expressions and gestures.
Do newborns feel love?
Earliest Feelings
Many parents are surprised when their little ones demonstrate strong feelings of affection -- does a baby or toddler actually have the emotional skills to show such feelings? The answer is a resounding yes. Most children form deep, loving bonds with their parents and friends from a very early age.
How do newborns show affection?
They'll Flirt With You. "Within a month or so of being born, babies respond to the facial expressions of their mothers, and without thinking about it, the moms start doing it right back," says Dr. Gopnik. We're talking about the smiles, the meaningful looks, the coy looking away and back again.
How does a baby know its mother?
Your baby is learning to recognize you through their senses. At birth, they are starting to recognize your voices, faces, and smells to figure out who is taking care of them. Since the maternal voice is audible in utero, an infant starts to recognize their mother's voice from the third trimester.
Do your hips get wider after birth?
Your ribs may have expanded, and your hips will often widen to make it easier for the baby to exit the birth canal. For some women wider ribs and hips will be permanent. As your baby grows during pregnancy you will gain weight .
How do models stay skinny during pregnancy?
After six weeks of cardio, the fitness routine should change to interval training: 20 minutes of cardio, followed by muscle work of 16 to 20 reps light weightlifting, then switching back and forth between cardio and weightlifting for the duration of the workout," he said.
How do I know if my uterus has gone back to normal?
In a week, your uterus will be half the size it was just after you gave birth. After two weeks, it will be back inside your pelvis. By about four weeks, it should be close to its pre-pregnancy size. This process is called involution of the uterus.
How can you tell if a baby is happy?
When your baby conforms her body to your arms and doesn't arch her back, it's a sign that she's comfortable. At this age, she's happy when you meet her basic needs: You respond to her cries, feed her, change her diapers, and lull her to sleep.
What happens when a mother doesn't bond with her child?
The effect of not having this bond is problems with behaviour and in dealing with emotions and new situations. This can cause effects which carry on right through childhood and into their adult life. However, if attachment disorder is picked up early, it can often be put right.
When do babies know they are separate from Mom?
At around 6 or 7 months old, your baby begins to realize that they're separate from you and that you can leave them alone. This is when separation anxiety usually kicks in, and it can last well into the second year.
Can a baby smell its mother?
The tiniest newborn babies can sniff out breast milk and even lactating women because breast milk has very specific fragrances that are extremely attractive to babies. Infants can also recognize their own mothers simply by smell.
Do newborns know their dad?
Most research, according to Parenting, indicates that babies can recognize their father's voice from 32 weeks gestation (and immediately after birth.) As far as facial recognition goes, that will take a bit more time.
What do you do with a newborn all day?
giving your baby different things to look at and feel while talking to them. giving your baby supervised tummy time each day. making sounds.
...
Cuddling and playing
- making eye contact, smiling and talking.
- singing nursery rhymes.
- taking your baby for a walk.
- reading or telling them a story.
- making faces.
- blowing raspberries.
How important is bonding with a newborn?
Bonding is essential for normal infant development
When a caregiver consistently responds to an infant's needs, it sets the stage for the growing child to enter healthy relationships with other people throughout life and to appropriately experience and express a full range of emotions.